I have a tattoo on my forearm of a lady beetle. It represents to me how fortunate I am.
A gentle reminder to not sweat on the small stuff and appreciate the here and now. Ironically.. I don't really like the tattoo as it is too large and looks a bit like a cockroach with spots...but over the years I have looked past the cockroach and remembered the significance it has to me.
Ben doesn't like that I'm not 100% about the tattoo and has offered several times over the years to design an alternative to go over it. But it hasn't really bothered me too much and our ideas always just petered out...
In my previous post I mentioned that we were going to rent the farm and see how that went.
We changed our minds.
After speaking with various real estate agents and talking at length with each other we decided it would be best that we put the farm on the market. Our decision was primarily based on the fact that we have chosen to move up to Northern New South Wales to slow down. To give all our time and energy to our kids, our family and each other. Renting the farm may have been easy and taken care of itself but we also know that looking after a farm requires a lot of time and effort and it was just something that we thought would be best to hand over to someone else.
It was by no means an easy decision, but in the last few years when Ben and I have had to make some tough decisions we have asked ourselves, 'what do we need or want to do right NOW in our lives?' The focus is on the NOW not next year or the year after. NOW. Our answer was family.
Once we made the decision to place the farm on the market we realised that our time was limited, with the kids school year, the house in Casuarina being completed around the same time, open houses, leaving enough settlement time, etc, we need to get everything ready VERY quickly.
We spoke with the real estate agent on the Thursday and agreed to be ready for photos and videographers a few days later...I honestly think we are completely crazy sometimes...actually I know we are.
Ben and I worked literally day and night. Ben built a new deck over the weekend!!! plus helped me rearranged some garden beds, buy some garden furniture, redecorated rooms, cleared out sheds, rooms, cupboards and shelves, painted, stained, weeded, planted, mulched, mowed and mowed some more. You know that tiredness, when you fall into bed and sleep for ten hours and wake up absolutely exhausted? That.
By Thursday she looked so, so beautiful. She deserved to look her absolute best. I wanted her to stand tall and proud. It was the least we could do for having the privilege of living on this little farm for the past 5 years.
The real estate agent called us early the following week and asked us to come into his office to discuss the details of the listing, choose photos and see what we thought of the video.
When I saw the video I cried. I was overwhelmed by how beautifully the videographers had captured her. I felt so much happiness, sadness, and relief all at the same time. After about the hundredth time of watching the video I still shed a tear....
As I have mentioned before, we have moved quite a few times over the last ten years. It's never easy saying goodbye to family, friends, or our community, but the actual house, the place, the stuff has never really mattered to me.
Do you know what I mean?
As long as I have my Benji, Eden, Kobi and Maya and see our families as often as we can, that's all I need. That's all that matters.
This time will be different. This time when I leave I will take a VERY large piece of this place with me. I will carry this farm in my heart forever. This farm has changed me as a person and I will be forever grateful. There are so many reasons and so many things I want to write here but I think that deserves a post of its own...
We signed a contract on Thursday. Unconditional. Sixty day settlement. After we signed the contract Benji and I went down the street for a glass of wine. Let it sink in. As we were walking down the street I told Benji that was still wasn't sure what to do with my lady beetle (cockroach) tattoo but I really wanted a tattoo that represented our farm. A daily reminder. Something that will always stay with me. That evening Benji sent me this..
Tomorrow she will be tattooed on my skin just as she is already tattooed in my heart.
Love Tash xxx